Processing

After a week learning at the Salvation Army Hospital in the rural city of Chikankata, the team is at “home base” in Choma. It was a fabulous week and honestly I wish we were still there because the opportunities were pretty crazy – plus we start looonnngggg class days this week.

I so wish that I could document every little detail from Chik, but I’ll give you some highlights.

*Day 1: Helped out in the ART (Antiretroviral Treatment) clinic and had my eyes opened to HIV/AIDs. I still can’t wrap my mind around this virus…no two patients look the same.

*Day 2: Spent a solid 7 hours in the OR observing different surgeries including two hysterectomies (I got to hold lemon-size uterine fibroids) and a burn debridement (these burns were unbelievable).

*Day 3: Went into the community with the HAR (HIV/AIDS Response Team) – this program is unbelievable. It reaches out to patients and also OVCs (Orphans and vulnerable children). I was absolutely blown away by this program – its response to the AIDS epidemic is amazing.

So here’s where I’m at right now in terms of this trip - I’m going to be pretty transparent here for a few. I wish I could transfer everything I’ve seen to you all because you seriously wouldn’t believe it. I almost feel like this is fake – definitely an out of body experience. I am feeling A LOT of guilt (let me preface by saying that I know that is wrong, but I’m being honest).

I know that God is looking out for these people – and they know it too because their faith is unbelievable. However, I’m struggling to figure out why I’m here. I know 100% that God wants me here, but I almost feel like I’m at a museum or something. I observe things, take pictures, and then go home.

I want to do something tangible. I want to empty my wallet, distribute all the clothes in my suitcase, something – but I know that wouldn’t be effective.

I also know that Americans often come in with the mindset of doing rather than being, but I just wonder what these people think when we just come to their homes, ask them questions about how hard it is to be 60+ years old, raise 6 orphans, and have to provide food for all of them, and then say thanks and go.

I’m going back to America in 2.5 months, but this is their reality. I resent my upper-middle class status. I don’t understand why there is such disparity between my life and theirs. But I don’t know what to do with all of this because I see joy in their eyes that rich westerners don’t have.

I can feel myself almost shut down because I have no idea to respond. I am trying to remember that God is just as much here as he is in the States and that he is the God of hope….not hopelessness. But it is very hard to keep that perspective. This experience is tough in more ways than that, but it is good. Until next time.

Brucie